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Last week, we looked at the peculiarities of the first born and middle child.  Today, we’ll examine the last born, only child and twins.  The way they behave can help you in crafting your story’s characters.

Last Born Children

Last born children fight hard to get noticed.  They are often the class clown, the maverick, the life of the party.  Their older siblings consider them spoiled.

Characteristics of the youngest include:

Careers include “On stage” professions – TV announcers and anchor people, salespeople (because of their ability to manipulate people).  They like jobs where they can work alone and do things at their own pace.

Why?  Parents are “taught out” and let the kid fend for himself.

They are suckers for praise and encouragement.  Their attention-seeking antics can be turned around with a “I’ll show them” attitude.

Famous last born children include Howard Stern, Jay Leno, Danny DeVito, Steve Martin.

Only Children

If the first born child is pressured to succeed, the only child is the mega first born, squared.  They are super perfectionists, super reliable, super scholarly and any of the other super*latives generally applied to the first born.

How an only born’s personality is molded depends on why he’s an only.  If his parents tried to have other children but could only have one, all their energy and attention is heaped on him.  He can become very pampered and spoiled and may have problems in later life with self-centeredness.

If he is an only child because it was a conscious decision of his parents’, he may have grown up with a very structured, disciplined expectation of being the “little adult.”  Resentment at being deprived of his childhood might cause problems.

An only child’s personality can swing from responsible, upstanding citizen to scared and rebellious because they’re not in as much control as they look.

Onlies tend to be critical, often lonely, and have difficulty relating to peers.

Careers include those similar to the first born child: law, medicine, architecture.

Famous only children are Robin Williams, Tiger Woods, Brooke Shields, Carol Burnett.

Twins

Twins can take on any of the other birth order’s characteristic, so it is hard to describe them, but there is a distinction on which of the two is the leader.

The leader’s traits:

The follower’s traits:

Twins may have identity issues, not feel unique, hide behind their twin’s shadow or feel overshadowed. On the plus side, they have a constant companion, someone who understands them.  They are confident, multi-taskers and want to stand out from their peers.

Famous twins include Ann Landers and Abigail Van Buren, The Olsen Twins, Fred and George Weasley.

Variables

Of course, not every first born is a perfectionist, and not every middle child is a peacekeeper.  You can use these variables to think outside the box when it comes to adding depth to your characters.

Parents

The marital status of the parents is important.  If your character’s parents are married, separated, divorced or remarried, it will have an effect on him.

Parenting style is also critical.  A strict parent has different expectations than a more liberal one, regardless of birth order.

Parent birth order can influence a child.  A first born parent will be more critical of their first born child.  A middle born parent will be less confrontational.

Siblings

A gap of more than five years between siblings often creates a “second family” with the new child taking on the characteristics of a first born.

Adoption of a new child rearranges the dynamics of the existing child(ren) as does the blending of two families through remarriage.  Their order is bumped up or down, and resentment at being replaced as the oldest/youngest can cause friction.

A sibling with a physical or mental handicap causes the other children in the family to mature quicker, whether they are older or younger.

The death of a sibling bumps a child up or down.  Children usually take the role of the sibling to keep the deceased child a part of their life.  “Ghost” children occur when a child dies and another is born shortly afterward.

Resources

The Birth Order Book, Why You Are The Way You are by Dr. Kevin Leman

Ancestry.com, the importance of birth order

The Ultimate Personality Guide by Jennifer Freed and Debra Birnbaum

http://www.birthorderplus.com/

http://www.rapidnet.com/~jbeard/bdm/Psychology/birtho.htm

Comments (0) Feb 20 2012

Birth Order

Or

Why Your Characters Behave The Way They Do

Does your hero run a large corporation?  Is he a mover and shaker in the business world?  Or is he in a creative field such as advertising or entertainment?  Does he negotiate well?  Speak first and regret it afterward?  Maybe he’s the life of every party.

Whatever his occupation, you can bet his birth order had an effect on his personality and career choice.  First born children generally share characteristics, as do last borns and middle borns. Not all attributes apply to each birth order, but on average studies have shown them to be more true than not.

Today, we’ll discuss the peculiarities of the first born and the middle child.  Next week, we’ll look at the youngest, only child and twins as well as the variables that can affect their behavior.

First Born Children

First Born children usually have the most attention directed at him/her, even before birth, because the pregnancy was a BIG DEAL.  More likely than not, hopes and dreams (of multiple generations) are pinned on them, and they are pressured to perform from day one.

They are their parents’ “guinea pig”, and their parents often overdo and overprotect their first born child.  They first born child grows up faster and are handed responsibility early.

Some common characteristics:

Professions – A higher percentage of first borns are in science, medicine, law, accounting, architecture, engineers, computers, and reporters (except on air.)

He feels he’s the only one who gets things done and is confident in being taken seriously by others.

21 of the first 23 astronauts were first born children.

2/3 of entrepreneurs are first born children.

Two typical types

First born children come in two typical types – compliant/willing to please and assertive/strong willed.

The compliant first born grows up as a pleaser of others.  Since childhood, he was the one responsible to get things done.  His parents depended on him, and it was his solemn duty to not let them down.

Common characteristics of the compliant first born:

The second type is the assertive, strong willed type.  They are the pace-setters and trend-setters.  They have high expectations, not only of themselves, but everyone else.

Common characteristics of the assertive first born:

Famous first borns:

Oprah, Charlton Heston, Rush Limbaugh

Middle Children

Middle childrens’ attitude and lifestyle plays off that of the firstborn child.  Generally, their personalities are the opposite of their older sibling.  If he senses he can compete, he will.  If the older child is stronger or smarter, the second may go off in another direction.

Middle borns may feel like a fifth wheel.  They go outside of their family to create a “family” with friends. Middles are the most secretive of all birth orders, because they feel the world isn’t paying attention and chose not to confide their plans.

They are the last to seek professional help because they consider themselves mentally tough and independent.

They are considered the most monogamous and have a strong commitment to make the marriage work.

Professions include sales, art, advertising, a career that involves negotiating or being level headed and unbiased.

They are tenacious because they’re used to life being unfair.

Middle children characteristics include:

Like first borns, they come in two types.

Type 1:

Type 2:

Famous middle children are Donald Trump, Tim Allen, Julia Roberts, Richard Nixon, David Letterman

Resources

The Birth Order Book, Why You Are The Way You are by Dr. Kevin Leman

Ancestry.com, the importance of birth order

The Ultimate Personality Guide by Jennifer Freed and Debra Birnbaum

http://www.birthorderplus.com/

http://www.rapidnet.com/~jbeard/bdm/Psychology/birtho.htm

Comments (2) Feb 13 2012

Stuck?

If you’re the owner of an iPad, you’re in luck in getting unstuck.  Whether personally or professionally, this app is great for diagnosing your problem, getting to the root cause and giving you manageable, workable action steps to get unstuck.

If you’re a writer, have your characters answer various questions to give you answers as to why they aren’t behaving.

Here are six action steps to take to get you unstuck:

* First, download the program (FREE) and register (you can use your Facebook logon).

*  Pick 3 of 18 cards that best describes how your stuck moment makes you feel, ranging from afraid to up in the air.  Let’s say you pick “Lost” as your stuck emotion.  Unstuck will ask a variety of questions such as “What are you stuck on?” and “I’m stuck because_____”

*  Use the diagnostic tools.  One is a pack of 20 cards with statements on them which you sort into “So me” and “Not me” piles. From your answers, you’ll assigned a category (ie Avoider) and given action steps, tools, tips, and a cyber kick in the butt.

* Set a goal, give yourself a deadline and outline consequences for not following through.

* Post your goals and deadline on Facebook or connect to the Unstuck community for motivation and accountability.

*  Follow through on your plan and get unstuck.

It’s a great tool, and way lots cheaper than therapy.

What things are you stuck on?

Comments (0) Feb 09 2012

I recently decided to edit a book I was soooo certain I’d abandoned two thirds of the way through.  I have a couple of books like that – or half books, left on the side of the road when something brighter and shinier appeared.  It’s a bad habit, letting good books die for no reason other than they’d dragged on for too long.  Or I’d been lazy and didn’t give them the attention they deserved.  I’m convinced I write better and finish more projects when I’m in a NaNo/Book of the Month frame of mind.

Which I must have been with this particular book.  You know what?  I’d finished it.  Oh, the corners were rough and there were a lot of xxxx’s that needed to be filled in, but the book was done.  “The End” was typed.  Finished.

Except -

I don’t remember writing it.  The last twenty pages are a blank in my mind.  My critique partner, Mary, says I was in the groove, and I must have been.  I’ve read it again and still have no recollection of typing those words.

This has happened before, but on a much smaller scale.  I’ve run across a phrase, a joke, a bit of brilliant dialogue and thought “That’s pretty damn good”, but I don’t remember not remembering writing a whole chapter or more.

It’s disconcerting.  I think I have writing amnesia.

Is there a cure?

Best to you,

Cheryl

Comments (0) Jul 09 2011

There’s one thing about doing a writing challenge.  Once you’ve reached your goal, the motivation dries up.  You don’t write.  The spark is gone, the desire a thing of the past.  At least that’s my experience in the four writing challenges I’ve participated in.  Will I stop?  No, there’s a freedom you can’t find anywhere else.  The inner editor is firmly locked away, and the words take over.

The next time, my goal won’t be 28K or 32K.  It will be THE END OF THE BOOK.  If I can pound out 200 pages, I can do 250-300. (Is the 400 page manuscript dead?)

Now, I have to get back in the groove to finish Ghost Lover then take another look at two more manuscripts that are >this close< to being finished.

How about you?  Do you have manuscripts hidden under the bed that are salvageable?  What keeps you from finishing them?

Comments (0) May 04 2011

I’m in day 24 of my 28 day writing challenge.  I had planned to hit it yesterday, but lost my writing time on Friday.  We were rear-ended (no one hurt) so my mind was less on writing and more on margaritas. It doesn’t matter, I wrote an awesome 5.5K words Saturday and Sunday and am at 29,547.  It’s in sight, people.

Things I’ve learned:

• Turn off the TV and internet.  I’ve written in the girl cave, Panera’s and my living room.   Surprisingly, I squeezed the most production (1K in 1 hour) at Panera, where free wi-fi wasn’t available.
• Don’t erase or backspace if you think of something more clever.  Type it, too.  Word count is word count and that includes editorial comments.
• The internal editor is hard to kill, so I allow her <5 minutes a day, mostly by highlighting word wrap and graying out the least favorite of two phases.
• Sex is easy to write.
• Intimacy is hard to write.
• You can still read books at lunch and in the car, but not any other time.

Have you taken part in a writing marathon?  What tips have you learned?

Comments (0) Mar 07 2011

I might have mentioned it.  My writing group (http://bit.ly/GRRWG) is in the middle of a writing challenge.  32K in 28 days.  I started “Ghost Lover” on Feb. 12th at our meeting, and expect to have at least 32K written by March 12th.  It’s very similar to National Novel Writing Month (www.nanowrimo.org).  In fact, we call it Winter NaNo.

My inner editor has been banished.  The object is word count only.  Vomit drafts are allowed (throw up all over the page).  Dreck is expected.

Yesterday, I finished four days of solid writing.  It wasn’t easy.  My characters did what I told them, and I struggled to think of the next scene.  Then, as I passed the 16K mark, they started doing things on their own.  Unexpectedly, Clare, my heroine, got pie-eyed drunk and phoned Adrian, the hero.  And they were off and running. . .

There’s nothing sweeter than hitting the zone and letting your characters take over.    Some call it imagination.  Others call it Muse.  I prefer the “Girls in the Basement.”  Barbara Samuels came up with the term.  Jenny Cruise borrowed it, and I stole it from her.  Basically, its the deep, deep subconscious, the place where research and ideas marinate.  Then, once in awhile, the girls send up something, and it’s the perfect piece to the puzzle you’re writing.

Imagine my surprise when the girls told me my characters had to have sex.  No!  They barely knew each other.  She was drunk, and he’s not the type to take advantage of the situation.  But wait, one of the plot devices allows them to meet during their dreams.  And I’d planned for dream sex.  Why not now?  She’s in one room asleep.  He’s in another.  Such proximity could be the catalyst to their first dream encounter.

So, tonight I write sex.  It will be hot.  I’ll let them tell me what keys to hit on my laptop.  I’ll only control one thing – they won’t remember it the next morning.  Aren’t I evil?  No, it’s the girls.  Bless their hearts.

Have you ever had your characters run away with your story?

Comments (0) Feb 23 2011

My writing group (http://bit.ly/GRRWG) is all for writing challenges, such as National Novel Writing Month (www.nanowrimo.org), fondly referred to as NaNo.  We’re not particularly crazy about the timing – during the busy month of November.  Last year, we moved it to the winter.  It was such a success, we’re duplicating it.  Between meetings, February 12th to March 12th, we’re challenging each other to write 32K.  A gift certificate is on the line for one of the finishers.  This year, as a fundraiser for our “I Always Wanted to Write a Book” Conference in October, we’re asking for a small entry fee, with a prorated monetary “contribution” for every 1K not written.

I’m very excited about the story I’ll start next month.  I know the purpose of NaNo is flat out, no-holds-barred writing, giving the subconscious a chance to go off on tangents and bring brilliance to the story, but I like to have some structure.  So, I’ve loosely outlined “Ghost Lover” in a way that won’t squelch the creative process.  It’s not quite “pantsing” but it’s a far cry from my usual spreadsheet micro-controlling way of plotting.

Here’s what I’m doing:

• Determine names.  Clare and her sisters Julie and Anna.  The hero is still nameless, but it begins with an “A”due to this complex, illogical naming system I have.
• Pick the hero and heroine’s occupations that fit the plot.  Clare is a caregiver.  “A” was more difficult, but I asked the muses/destiny/collective consciousness and they came through with a court appointed legal guardian.
• Do ghost research.  By studying different cultures and case studies, I now have the foundation for my worldbuilding.
• List the things that “have” to happen.   Clare has to do this, this and this.  “A” has to do this and that.  By writing down the important events in their story, I can put them in rough chronological order, which will give  me logical structure as I’m blowing through 32K in four weeks.
• Get back in the habit of writing every day.  Whether on the laptop or with a legal pad and pen, I’m starting to dedicate a specific time every day to the writing process.
• Get a manicure.  Sure, it sounds trite, but I’m going to be spending more time on the keyboard, so a nice manicure (in Senorita Rosalita by Opi) is a self indulgence I’m willing to pay for.

What about you?  Are you starting a new book soon?  What do you do to prepare for it?

Comments (0) Jan 18 2011

I’m starting a new book – alien heroine vs. psychic hero, but there are a lot of irons in my fire, so I’ve decided to not try for the whole 50,000 word target of NaNo.  A mini-NaNo, however, gives me the freedom to kill my inner editor and vomit out my first draft.  I don’t have much of a plot, but I know the hero’s GMC, and I’m hoping the heroine’s will emerge.

Are you participating in this year’s NaNo?  What story are you working on?

Comments (0) Nov 02 2009

I’m back from a weekend writing retreat and feeling recharged.  It’s one thing to say “If I just had a chunk of time. . .” and actually sitting down and writing.  I pushed through and finished my latest W.I.P.

How can you kickstart your muse?

Don’t get out of the habit of daily writing.  It’s easy to do.  Life intrudes and “I’ll write tomorrow” can become a mantra.  Instead, set your alarm for 10 minutes.  You’ll be surprised how much you can write in that time and how much over the limit you’ll go.

Turn off your inner editor.  Don’t search for the perfect word.  I’m a fan of XXX.  When in doubt for the best word, the name of that character in the 2nd chapter, or whatever it is that you’re stuck on, insert XXX.  When you come back to it during your edits, it won’t seem as important.

Don’t reread what you’ve written.  In preparation for this retreat, I printed off the last ten pages of what I’d written.  I never looked at them.  I started from the last sentence and pushed on from there.

Even if you think you’re writing dreck, it’s good dreck.  Not every building can be the Taj Mahal.  Sometimes you have to start with a straw hut and make a lot of improvements.

Now that my book is done, I have a week to go through it and make my first cut of edits.  On Nov. 1st, I’m starting a new story.  I won’t be shooting for the full 50,000 words, but I’ll be participating in my own version of NaNoWriMo http://www.nanowrimo.org/ and taking my own advise.

Happy writing!

Comments (0) Oct 25 2009